Do what I say, not what I ...
Story: Many times depression is misdiagnosed. Sadness, feeling sorry, not being at the ‘top of your game’ are all examples of human nature. We all have these feelings at one time or another. We all handle them in differing ways. Depression is classified as “a reduction in physiological vigor or activity; inability to concentrate, insomnia, sad or despondent, dejection, hopelessness, etc.”, basically, getting out of bed or having one too many bourbons. I have found that people I’ve met who profess depression are most certainly depressed; however, many of them are simply caught up in a mid-life realization of imperfection and very little time left in their lives to correct the problem. For what ever reason, they are having a hard time accepting or coming to grips with their mortality. Perhaps, when sitting at the kitchen table, and the lingering taste of last nights beer is still on their lips and they are trying to focus on the first cup of coffee, they simply come face to face with the fact they are not going to be a movie star, invent the next ‘cant live without’ tool, or rise to the status of President of the United States! They realize there is less time to accomplish these daunting tasks in front of them than behind them and this realization makes them sad, it depresses them. This is nothing new, you are not special! It would be a rare occurrence these same feelings do not happen to every single person; every person who has died, and every person who is living, and every person yet to be born at one time in their lives is going to have these feelings, get use to it! It is unfortunate that the majorities were not told when they were younger, they were not perfect. They are not handsome or pretty. They are stupid or perhaps ignorant. The reason I say this is the fact that if most people were told the facts of life when they were younger, there would have been more time in their lives to correct what others perceive to be a problem! Instead, their friends decided not to hurt their feelings. Those around them didn’t want to be ‘the one to tell them’. Their sister didn’t want to be the one to tell the ‘little princess’ she wasn’t beautiful. The teacher didn’t want to be the one to tell some students they were stupid, were slow, and were simply lazy, or prison bait. If they would have gotten the ‘bad news’ when they were younger they may have been able to do something about it; instead they are sitting at the kitchen table, out of beer, dogs barking, no relationship and the rent is due; where the hell are all those do-gooders now? It’s depressing! Know in your heart, everyone you have seen in the past has been there! Not identically, but at some time they eventually come to the same point in their lives you are now just arriving at! Sure, some have it easy because of the money ‘uncle tom’ left them in his will; as such, they created their own world of happiness; using money, they controlled the environment which surrounds them. However, they too will come to the end of the road. Be happy in the knowledge the ‘office queen’ or the ‘Rock Hudson’ body builder where you work will eventually come to the realization that ‘you can’t take it with you!’ They both will eventually loose that which they hold dear, and they both know it. You on the other hand, can just keep getting better! Cheer up, the guy standing next to you on the bus has been there. He doesn’t want you to know it, but he’s been there. The cute blond sitting towards the front of the bus in the seat someone always gets up to give the beauty queen, is in for a fall even if she does ‘snag Mr. Right’ before she looses her looks! Be happy in the realization that you are human; and as such, it was inevitable this temporary feeling came over you. If the feeling lingers and you can’t ‘shake it’, go see someone who will charge you exorbitant amounts of money you don’t have, to tell you what is written above. By doing so, you will have something else to occupy your mind; the bill from an idiot who told you what you already knew! Do yourself a favor; find someone to go through life with. Don’t do it alone, why? If you look hard enough and try hard enough to be the best person you can be, you may just find someone very special; that someone who needs you more than you need them. I was sitting in a bar one night, with a friend sipping on a cheap glass of beer, when another friend entered the bar with a two hundred, fifty pound, six foot five woman on his arm. They were both laughing and holding on to one another, oblivious to everything and everyone around them. She wasn’t the prettiest thing I had ever seen, and by that wonderful sparkle in her eye, she really couldn’t give a shit what I thought. They walked past us and sat at the end of the bar; all the while laughing out loud. They ordered a beer and continued their good time. We said nothing and silently sipped our beer listening to their fun. After a few minutes had passed, the guy sitting next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear “Jesus, would you be caught dead with her?” I instantly became infuriated, waited a few minutes to calm down, and finally leaned over to him and whispered in his ear “your damn right. He’s having the time of his life with someone who obviously enjoys his company, and I’m sitting hear with your sorry ass!” I got up and left. Were those two lucky, or what? My whole life passed before me, I couldn’t believe how lucky my friend was, to have someone to share his life. For a brief moment I was reminded of what I was missing. A soul mate, a lover, or just someone to dance with would be great! And for those reasons, I say “find something to cheer you up”. Wasn’t there a time you can remember when you felt good? I’ll bet you were with somebody special? Someone who made you feel needed and/or appreciated? Isn’t there some place you can go to do something special, exciting, out of the ordinary? Make yourself a list of things to do and don’t stop doing them. Check them off as you go. If you don’t consider yourself special, make yourself special. If you’re not handsome, or beautiful, enjoy the fact those are labels invented by pansies, because most of the world is unique, and they are not! Have you ever looked at pictures of royalty? There’s nothing handsome about them. To look like royalty is to mime a pig’s ass. They don’t reflect the majority of society, they are the exception. With inbreeding and perversion the norm, trying to protect their wealth at any costs, it’s no wonder they reflect a perverted society. Royalty was ‘handsome’ on a very rare occasion. Do not wish for it, be yourself for you are unique. That’s not to say there aren’t exceptions, but how many? There never has been, there isn’t, and there will never be another one of you!!! You are the only one!!!! No one can have it!!! No one can take it!!! All they can try and do is copy it! Haven’t you ever seen someone who is ‘self confident’ even if they are not what the ignorant call pretty? They exude confidence. Even it they aren’t wearing the newest fashion. Microsoft employees are some of the most intelligent, life changing employees in the world. The most intelligent people on earth; yet the are commonly seen wearing torn “T” shirts, ripped Levi’s, sandals and basically what ever they want because they know, and their employer knows, appearances do not reflect ‘worth’. Look at the fashion of Bill Gates; the wealthiest person on earth!! Would you be caught dead in those shirts??? Wealth does not denote intelligence! Wealth does not denote fashion sense! You have it, or you don’t, or you hire someone who does; it’s that simple. Be happy with what you have. Set out today to get some more of what makes you happy. And be one, or turn into one of those people many of us look up to because they look like they have their shit together. They look like they made it through the time we all go through, that time in our lives they call depression. By the way, when ever I’m asked “what depresses you?” I always say “of finding out my observations of life may be wrong”. All the best, lets see that smile!
continued...RJ