The Haida...The Eveready flashlight, and The two Daring-Do's... #1
My turn came to get some much needed sleep, so I stepped below and went forward towards the bow of the small boat. There were two bunks built into either side of the glistening white forward arching planks. I remember my partner telling me the best way to sleep is with your feet facing forward, just in case we have to head into some waves. I remember an hour before when we were cruising on glass like water near Prince Rupert, BC. The moons reflection off the still water gave us hope of crossing Queen Charlottes Sound that fateful night. We could have stopped and anchored for the night, and in the morning, in the day light, continue our journey and cross Queen Charlottes Sound. At least we would have been able to see the sky. That would have been the smart thing to do, the right thing to do. We left 'smart' and 'right' standing on the dock watching us leave a couple of days ago. In the minds of two 'daring do's' it was a toss up. We both knew Queen Charlottes had a point of no return. Stories of harrowing life and death adventures from the unlucky caught in the middle when the weather tried to kill them were in every bar from Mexico to Alaska. The real ugly ones, no one lived long enough to excite us over crab cakes and beer! But hey, we just had my world famous egg sandwiches with a slice of onion and tonight the water was like glass, what could happen! We smiled at each other and voted to go on. The sea was black and slick; like onyx. A perfect night for our ship. She was a little boat, a thirty two foot double-ender with an empty gill net reel rocking from side to side on the aft deck. She was an old boat with a 130 Perkins diesel. What a great boat. Built some time in the 50’s, maybe earlier, she had a lap strake hull. But that engine, purred like a kitten; pucka, pucka, pucka, pucka. We had everything going our way, but if word got back to Ray’s wife that we crossed Queen Charlottes in the dark of night, there would be hell to pay for both of us! I don't remember which we feared more, that silence and 'the look' from Ruth, or the unforgiving sea. We both laughed as we reminisced about some of the things she caught us at and how well she knew the two of us. A real smart lady in the best of company. She also knew all along, all her husband and sidekick had to hear was ‘it couldn’t be done’ and somehow the two of them would end up just shy of glory with a pocket full of stories to tell. She was a special person, a keeper. That night, I had fallen asleep listening to the dolphins rubbing up against both sides of the bow. Soft ‘thumps’ under my feet while underway. That sound and the slow rocking of the boat soon had me dreaming. During the day, we would watch in amazement as dolphins came out of the water and dove ahead of us using the shape of the bow as a guide. They would be six to eight feet out of the water and I swear to this day they smiled at us as they flew ahead. Anyway, it wasn’t long before I woke. Something I had heard in my sleep woke me. Of course, once awake I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t tell how long I had slept, but seconds later, the sound came again! You know, a small, almost indiscernible different sound, hidden in all that is right. A sneaky little sound, accompanied by an odd feeling. That kind of feeling when someone or something is right next to you and you can’t see it in the dark! It’s right there, inches from you in the dark, yet you can’t make it out. What ever it is, it brought that little sneaky sound with it! I lay in the bunk listening, staring into the dark. I told myself to slow down and think. Start from the beginning, add it all up. The ocean will kill you if you let it. The trick is not to let it. The boat wasn’t as animated as I remember. I told myself the water must have stayed like glass. Except for the sound of small waves lapping the hull, all was pretty quiet. The air was still, too still. Kind of like before a storm! The funny thing, laying in the dark, I could hear water…just as if it was right next to me. I turned slowly and looked up to see what Ray was doing. To see if he had noticed anything odd. He was swaying back and forth and his feet rested on the four foot step stool that served as our captain’s chair. I could see the glow of warm light on his face as the tiny dash and compass lights kept him company. I decided to get up, and as I turned to step out of the bunk, I looked towards the rear of the galley, and could see the reflection of that beautiful moon out the rear of the cabin. Odd enough, the small swinging doors were unlatched and were swinging back and forth. Another odd thing was the moons reflection carried all the way across our rear deck, into the galley, and forward to where I was laying! Jeezes…I knew what was wrong…we were sinking, the stern was under water and the cabin was two thirds full, up to the edge of my bunk! I leapt from the bunk and into four feet deep sea water. I grabbed the galley cabinet shelving to steady myself in the wave movement of the boat. I moved rearward, looked up, and yelled to Ray, who was bone dry, because he was about four feet above my head in the pilot house. I crawled out of the hole and stood with my legs apart, next to him and told him to look rearward. He turned to look and as reality sunk in, his jaw dropped open. And his reply…”egads”. He turned to look forward again as we talked about what we were going to do. We figured we had ‘sprung a plank’ and I had to find it. I pulled my shirt off, and waded to the rear hatch. The deck hatch was under about a foot of water. I would have never been able to raise it by myself, except there was water on both sides of it, making it almost float by itself as I pulled on the hasp. From the galley doors, the rear of the boat was totally under water. I could not see the transom or the rear decking. The reflection of the moon was across the whole deck. The water was black in the night and except for where I was standing, you would have never known there was twenty feet of boat just under the glass surface. The small engine was still running because the air intake and the exhaust were fifteen feet in the air attached to the stack. Basically, the small engine was running under four feet of water! I took one last look at Ray, and dove into the black square hole. I swam under the deck towards a cold flow of water. The hole was behind a steel fuel tank and my body nor my arms just couldn’t reach it. I turned and swam forward and gasping for air, raised my head above the deck. I crawled out and entered the cabin. I told Ray what I had found, and that I would give it one more chance. I grabbed some bedding to shove in the hole, just in case I could reach it. Looked back at Ray, and once more dove into the black sea below the rear deck. I pulled myself along on the wooden frame members of the hull and once again reached the fuel tank. I shoved the coat into the space between the left side of the square tank and the side of the hull where the steering gear was located. The blankets became wedged between the two. I swam forward, all the while hoping it would slow down the incoming water. As I entered the cabin, I had to hold on to the door frame to stop myself from falling backwards, because the bow of the boat was now starting to rise into the night air. As I fought to move forward I could see Ray standing and holding the wheel. Remember that smell of storm I had mentioned earlier, well it is here! Not only had the transom and aft deck sank under water, twenty to thirty foot swells started rolling under us! We both had to hold on as the bow raised above our heads on each oncoming swell, or fall backwards! It was just a matter of minutes until the swells turned into waves! We were meeting them, head on! Each time, they raised the bow so high, we almost flipped over backwards! We were bracing ourselves and holding on while the bow pointed at the stars! Repeatedly, our slow speed kept us prisoner. We would barely crest the peak of the wave, while the hull of the vessel was not touching water at either end! To this day, we believe if one of us had moved either forward or aft, the weight change would have sunk us! You haven’t lived until you’re standing in a boat, thirty feet out of the water, and when you look forward, the surface of the next swell is forty feet below you, and the bow is starting to lean into it! The wave was moving faster than we were, so once the tip of the wave passed under us, the boat would pivot on the center of the keel and with us screaming at the top of our lungs, the boat would slide down the back side of the passing wave, and nose dive us to speeds the little boat only dreamed of! Once in the bottom of the swell, there was a thirty to forty foot oncoming wall of water beginning to pick us up and start the whole thing over again! Ray had the throttle wide open! We barely, if at all had intermittent steerage. As the wave pushed against us, we rose into the air and slid up the wall of water until the bow actually passed the peak of the wave and with each passing moment, slowly fell forward until that wave slowly passed under our hull. We were slowly loosing ground. We weren’t quite making it to the tops of the waves anymore. It was apparent they were increasingly starting to crash over our bow because our transom was being sucked under! The next wave raised the bow again; only this time we started to slide backwards, down the same face. When the top of the wave did reach us, we were standing straight up in the air and the black water almost flipped us over backwards. The boat leaned backwards and passed the point of no return. What saved us from flipping over was the transom and main deck were under water. If the wave had been traveling any slower, we would have been flipped, bow to stern and landed upside down on the top of the cabin and rear deck! We would have flown forty feet to the bottom of the passing swell and surely been crushed by our own weight. Ever so slowly the bow started to move forward as the wave passed, and while leaning forward, we both held on for dear life as she finally laid down with us facing the next swell, and the next wave! We wouldn’t make it again! Ray was yelling “should we try and turn…should we try and turn around?” I will never forget the reflection of the lights on his thick glasses as he looked in my direction while yelling. I told him I didn’t think the small engine was strong enough to provide enough speed to outrun the next oncoming wave if we got her turned, the next wave would pound us from behind! It was one of those times in a persons life, they realize, there is no choice. Neither of us had an answer. Our bag had run out of tricks. That moment was surrealistic and in slow motion as the two of us, inches from each other face, dripping with salt water, and watching each others eyes in the glow of the fading battery light, we knew, it was just us. I swear Ray smiled as the two of us turned to look at the sea, and he started to turn the wheel! We both pulled to Port and held on! Not having enough power or steerage, surprisingly the little boat started to turn! Slowly, as the next wave started to raise us up, into the air, the bow started to move towards Port. As the wave picked us up, we were both yelling “come on you son of a bitch…come on!” As we approached the top of the wave, the boat started to slide sideways down the passing face! We held on screaming as we turned to Port while sliding down the face of the great wave. I was on the downhill side, when I looked up at Ray….we both knew we didn’t make the turn. In that second, and without saying anything, the looks on our faces told the other, everything needing to be said. We were gone. The momentum rolled us into the swell. As the boat turned over, the sounds of pots and pans and crashing water kept us company as we were pounded inside the hull. We went under holding on! To and fro, upside down and moving very fast. We were in the cabin, under water when things started to calm down. All of a sudden, the boat rolled over. We were still in the cabin, with our heads next to the deck sucking the sliver of air when we realized we were floating upright, and the only way out was through the cabin windows. The tip of the bow and the blue mast was all that remained sticking out of the water. Holding our breath, we grabbed two ‘mae west’ life vests and swam to the rear deck and then forward. We were out. We tied a line to each of us as we drifted into the sea, and away from the boat. We swam back and forth, Ray had tied our lines to the forward bow cleat. About four feet of the bow was all we could see in the moon light. The big waves had once again returned to massive rolling swells as we floated into oblivion. The boat looked like a wounded animal, the tip of the bow and the mast was all that was above the surface of the water as if gasping for air. All that kept her afloat was the air in the bow and her wooden frame.
The night was so quiet, peaceful. The black water rolling under us, and the crystal clear sky above. Ray yelled at me “look for a boat, look for a boat”. I could see him floating off in the distance. He had a hand held radio and apparently had radioed for help. I floated over to him and he said he heard someone out there. Every time I came to the top of a wave, I blinked a small flashlight, trying to save the batteries as we drifted into the swells. I remember thinking that I will contact Eveready and thank them for the great batteries that if we are found, will save our lives. We watched as cabin cruisers passed us in the darkness. We could see the people inside the cabins, but no one had heard us…no one could find us in the dark. I had a flashlight and aimed it at them, but to no avail. They kept on going. Unbeknownst to them, we were dieing, not three hundred feet from their music. We knew we had about twenty five to thirty five minutes maximum in the freezing water. The first thing that happens is you loose all feeling in your legs and lower extremities. When the last ship passed us, neither of us could feel our legs or waist. I remember thinking how peaceful it was in our last moments alive. Thinking we only had moments to live before being pulled under the waves, I remember trying to absorb all I could. I think like a man on death row would savor every nuance of his last meal. I smelled the wind, actually felt the water, and looked to the stars. I listened to every sound. I watched the surface of the water with an intensity I didn't know I had. I looked to Ray, and he was peacefully floating on his back, also looking to the stars. Perhaps it's true that every man will eventually be alone with his thoughts. Be finally alone with his beliefs. We were a few feet apart and soon to die, yet we were lives apart in that darkness and the great sea. I remember thinking there is so much I don't know about my buddy. We were so busy investigating life, neither had paused long enough to tell the other about the past. The winds that sprayed salt water into our eyes, were finally dieing down and once again, the massive, rolling, swells were returning to glass. Standing at the threshold of death, surely my last act of disobedience was to hold my hand high and blink the small, man made Eveready flashlight on and off in the darkness, every time I came to the top of a wave. I watched as another ship passed slowly by. And in an effort to soak up all I could before going, I remember craning my neck to watch it disappeared from view. To savor the smallest thing. They will never know in my last seconds, I chose to see them pass. The crew members and guests will never know, a man alone in the darkness was watching them, missing them. My eyes stung from the salt water, but I remember squinting to watch the mast light vanish. It was then; I turned and saw Ray was no where near me. I twisted and turned and flailed my arms and I could not find him anywhere. I remembered the last time I looked at him, he was leaning back into his life vest and the peaceful moon was shining on his glasses. I couldn’t tell if his eyes were open as he drifted next to me, but we were together. We both just floated together without saying anything. He absorbed in his last minutes, and me in mine. I remember him saying over and over “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, as the boat sank. I think he was crying as he took full responsibility for this fix we were in. But that was the kind of guy Ray was. Even though there was none to be found, he perpetually sought out the good in people. He would try and bring it out of everyone. That's how he found me. The lowest point in my life. I wake up, and there he is standing at the foot of my bed, telling me everything is going to be all right. Telling me I had a job and he had a place for us to stay. We all loved him for it. It was so like him. When all around you was falling apart, just seconds before you were about to give up, you turn around and there he would be. His big smile and some kind of plan to get you out of your mess. If he was standing next to you, come hell or high water, you weren’t alone! That man would help anyone, and there’s hundreds out there who know what I mean. I was going to use my last strength to find him. I owed him that, and more. I bobbed up and down looking for him, but couldn’t see anything in the cold darkness. Chocking on despair, I finally I used the line and pulled myself to the tip of the bow. "Keep moving" I told myself, keep moving. As I floated next to the bow, I pulled myself to the other side, and there, floating in the moon light, alone, was the one person who was always there for me. I watched as he floated by himself without moving. He looked so peaceful in the wave. Tears started pouring down my face, and the salt started stinging my eyes as a great sadness welled up inside of me, when I realized my friend was gone. The best friend and family a person could ever have…was gone. An uncontrollable, deep loneliness encased my body because I had not been there for him. My very dear friend has died. After all years he helped me through; in the end I had failed him. He died by himself, with only his thoughts. In sadness, I let go of the boat. I was thinking I would not feel so bad if we had gone together. I drifted over to him, and as I got close, I put my arm around his life vest and held on. I couldn’t help but feet it wasn’t our time, we were better than this. Something seemed wrong. I wasn’t going to leave him, nor him me. Finally, the inevitable happened, I couldn’t feel my hands or my arms. I just couldn’t hold on any more. Ray started to float off as I looked up towards the stars, I couldn't watch. I couldn't watch when his time came to slide under the glass. I didn't want to see the finality of the sea taking him. I stared upward, towards the skies. I remember thinking "in the wake of everything that has happened to us, what a wonderful view!" A wonderful, peaceful place to die. The sky was crystal clear, and I had a front row seat to the heavens. I was smiling as I silently floated for what seemed like an hour before I realized I couldn’t feel my body. It was then my sight started failing me. Slowly, and alone, I started loosing my sight of the stars. Slowly, methodically, those millions of wonderful stars vanished from my sight. I was alone, and not crying on purpose, but it hurt me to think I couldn’t watch the show. I remember thinking, such a cruel end. To die floating alone, and in darkness. Total darkness. I remember thinking, if there was a god, at the end of my life, what have I done that was so bad for him to take my stars away? For years I had been alone, traveling across the country; and all those times when loneliness started creeping in, I could always wait for night, and look up to see the stars. One last time, I tried to think of everyone I knew and envision them laughing like we use to do. I floated and listened to the sea. The sea was rocking me to sleep one last time. I suppose it was a good trade after all. My sight instead of brutal pain and suffering. While literally floating in self pity, my last serenity was broken, when all of a sudden, off in the distance, I heard “varrrrum, varrrrummm, then louder……varrrrrrrrrummmmm……varrrrrrruuuuuuum!!! Then the stars started coming back into view!!! I could see again! My heart was racing as I heard yelling….yelling…in some crazy voices! I turned to look up…..there was a huge ship passing right over the top of me! Tree limbs and root balls were passing within feet of my head! The crew members of the Haida Monarch had heard Ray's may-day and were searching for us! Their ship was huge! They told us later, in the darkness of the sea, they saw a tiny, white light on the sea, over and over again, and they steered the ship to it! In all that vastness, they saw the flashlight! Now a huge search light was searching the waves for the two of us! It was on me! Like the sun, it was blinding when I looked in it's direction. It was not until the ship passed us, that I realized what the sounds were that I kept hearing, they were the tips of the massive, brass propeller blades coming out of the water and vibrating! Some thirty feet in the air, I could see men lining the transom, from the transom. They were yelling something! They were yelling “we cannot stop……we cannot stop……grab the line…….grab the line!!!” Jeesus, they werent' stopping! They couldn't stop! I looked frantically in the moonlight to find the rope….and there it was! It was floating past me! I could see the end. Just then I was hit from behind by something heavy! A piece of drift wood, a shark, what the hell was it? As I turned my breathing stopped.. it was Ray! My buddy was behind me and swimming for the rope! The two of us grabbed at the line as the great ship kept going. The crew played out the rope as fast as they could. We found out later, they were caught in a southern current and if they were to stop or slow down any more, they would have lost their steerage. The great ship would have been out of control! The waves were pulling the ship south! We swam to the bow of our little gill-netter, and as I frantically watched, Ray tied their line to ours. Ray tugged at me, and we swam to the rear of our boat, behind the stacks and the mast. Mustering all the strength we had left, the two of us held on! The passing ship was a quarter mile from us, when the crew of the ship started winching in their line. As they did, the two of us could barely make out the cheering as they pulled our boat out of the water! Ray and I ended up lying on our rear deck as they kept winching! In the blackness, they pulled our boat up next to their transom, dropped a chain ladder, and in the howling winds, we climbed up to the waiting Swedish crew of the Haida Monarch! They had actually emptied our boat of water with the speed they were going south! As long as we were traveling faster that the water could enter our boat, if floated behind theirs! They grabbed the two of us and hugged us, cheering and wailing. They dragged us to a small room, and stripped us of our clothes. The Haida crew slammed the huge, steel door shut and turned the heat on. It was not long before the heat penetrated our bodies. It was almost like being burned by flames! Moments later, two crew members entered the room and handed us some coveralls to wear. Upon exiting the room, they handed each one of us a cup of coffee. That night, no one knew where we had gotten the strength to climb the ladder. No one could explain how we pulled ourselves to the waiting crew with only our arms. The Haida crew were looking for bodies that night; not two 'daring-do's' floating in the dark!
to be continued..RJ